Is he in the wrong or am i?

stop sleeping with him, end the friendship, get therapy and look at why you are too scared to commit, stop sleeping with anyone until you sort yourself out and break all contact with this guy. the 'are you ok?' stuff is guilt about another person and he doesn't care about you at all. why you want to be with someone who is so heartless is a good question to ask yourself. have a word with yourself and grow up before you do stuff you later feel ashamed of