Did i ruin my chances of getting back with my ex?

I dated my ex for 2 and a half years. He was my first love and my everything. I never thought that we would really break up. He broke up with me and doesn't want a girlfriend. We've been broke up for 4 months. I'm 19, he's 20. We wouldn't talk to a couple of weeks then he would text me, so when that happens I would get happy again and hangout with him, even still hookup with him. After the breakup I went through problems, yelling at him at a party, being jealous, texting him. After that happens I tell him to stop talking to me. We don't for a couple of weeks, and he'll contact me back and the cycle starts over again. Well hangout, hookup, and then he'll break my heart once again and tell me he doesn't want a gf. He wants me to move on. But it kills me to hear him say that, and that he wants to talk to other girls. I told him I still love him and we still should be together, but I think it was a bad idea bc I look desperate, and weak. And I regret saying those things to him. After that I told him if he really wants me to move on, he just needs to stop talking to me all together. I really love him still, but I need to try and be happy, not talk to him and move on. But I hope not talking to him for a LEAST a month he'll see what a mistake he has made. I've come back way to easily and I can't do that anymore. I would absolutly love to have him back in my arms, but I guess for now I have to accept he doesn't want that, so I'm not going to talk to him for a while. But after that do you think he'll regret what he did and miss me and want me back? I just need some comfort, advice or something to make me feel better. Losing him crushed me, I felt like I got stabbed. And I don't know how easy it was for him to let me go. But me being desperate showed him he had the upper hand and was that much easier to say no to me. So I hope this reverse psych Will make him feel like an idiot. And when or if he does come back. I don't really know what ill do. My mind is so confused, help!